The Shroud of Tinian

Well here I am in Saipain! Just a simple 24 hours after I left Seattle. I'm in an Internet

Cafe/fishstore/livepoultry store around the corner from my hotel.
Do you bring you up to date. I left Vancouver around noon on Monday. I was the prescribed three hours early, so early in fact that I made the 2:00pm flight instead of the 3:30pm and got picked up and delivered to the "Best Value Motel"

Now here's my question? If it's called the "Best Value Motel" what's the "Least Value" Hotel? A packing grate under and overpass?


Actually it isn't too bad - except for the stain on the sheet. I think it's blood. It's not a big blood stain, just a few drops dribbled out along the top right hand corner. In fact they look strikingly like the Northern Marianas: I can see Guam, Saipan, Rota and even tiny Tinian. It's my own
shroud of Turin, or should I say "Shroud of Tinian?" I wasn't too concerned because it was a king size bed and I could always sleep on the left hand side, except for one thing... There's no nitetable or light on the left hand side. I settle the matter by covering the stain with a taht towel.

Now I know most of you are asking why don't I just ask the Better Value folks just to come up and change the damn thing. Well that would mean I would have to take down the barricade I've erected in front of the door. You see I recently paid a visit to the office to complain about a non-
functioning tv remote control. Rashee, the night guy had already mentioned that he lived a short time in Surrey B.C. before he had to leave rather suddenly.

'No problem, man, I'll come up to your room and reprogram it.' He offered.
'Can't you do it here?' I asked, not wanting Rashee in my room.
'Nah, I need to have the remote and the tv together.'

I seriously consider carry the tv down to the office. About a half hour later Rasheed shows up withmy remote and piece of paper with the programing instructions. He's distracted by the MP3 players on the desk.

'So how much does one of those cost?' he asks. 'I don't know,' I respond, ''We get them free on the show'
I can see the wheels turning inside Rasheed's head.
'Did you get that Epson camera for free too?'
'Yeah, but it's old I say trying to make it seem that it might fetch a good price at the Sport's Bar up the street (Which is for Rasheed, unfortunately closed since a patron decided to turn it into a drive thru the night before.)

Rasheed finished programming my remote, tosses it on the bed , and with one final apraising look around the room leaves. That's when I decided to erect the barricade in front of the door with the heaviest object I could find, which according to the airlines, is my luggage.
Everything was still in tact in the morning when I left for the airport to begin the 24 hour saga to Saipan.

More next time, the smell of dog and geese is getting to me.